Archive for August, 2008

Jeff Vallee's photography

bike_polo 2, originally uploaded by jvallee76.

Jeff Vallee, a friend of New York Bike Polo has asked to photograph some players a couple of times now, in the studio and in The Pit, and the results can be seen on his Flickr page. Thanks Jeff, great work!

oh, and this is me looking… mean.?. unhappy.?. I’m not in front of the camera much. Serious! that’s it, looking serious. I swear I was smiling most of the time while Jeff took photos but I grew up with really messed up teeth and didn’t get braces till I was in high school. So I never really smiled much as a kid and that has been a hard habit to break.

Hey Jeff, post a silly one of me to balance things out.

Duct-tape?

Go to urbandaddy.com and read what they have to say about New York Hardcourt’s “LES free for all” in their Five Sports You Won’t See On Television thing.

I might add that as silly as this is, at least Urban Daddy does not call it urban bike polo. And yes, we have been on television, If SNY TV counts. OK you’re right, this ain’t baseball.

Slapdick Fall Open

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Slapdick Fall Open
Round Robin Bike Polo Tournament
September 13th-14th, 2008
Rush Rink, Washington, DC
(13th & D st, SE)

For more info slapdickpolo.com

Results:

Winners: “FΛggØt Bike Golfers” (Mark, Chris, Ken) PA/NYC
2nd Place: “On Deck” (Nick, Ian, Ben) RVA
3rd Place: “Slapdick” (Ryan, Patrick, Zack) DC

18 teams from Philly, NYC, Richmond, Boston, Chicago, and DC.

Bike Polo Team Names Revisited

Oh you know, just a random (and incomplete) list of names bike polo teams have gone by in tournaments past. In no particular order.

  • Puppy dogs and rainbows
  • Christ Punchers
  • Almost Christ Punchers
  • The A-Team
  • Heat Lightning
  • Over Rated
  • SHOTTAS
  • Hot Papas
  • Torpedo NYC
  • Milwaukee Mugshotz
  • Team Medic
  • Gordon is the biggest the fastest and the strongest
  • Scataclysm
  • Pussycat Kill Kill Kill
  • Virgin Slayers
  • Broad Street Bullies
  • Coque Bloquers
  • Two of the Four Riders of The Apocalypse…and Andy
  • The Dubious Three
  • Steel Horsemen
  • Judas and the betrayers
  • Special Ed
  • Memphis
  • Flowing Locks
  • Sweet Thunder
  • Admiral Ackbar
  • Doppler radar 2000
  • Team Generic
  • Rat Killers
  • Your Mother
  • Hate-triots
  • Meaner Shnitzels
  • Slim Margins
  • Satan Slappers
  • Cowboy Killers
  • Wheelzebub
  • Dayton Dental Cannons
  • Team America
  • Milwaukee B.P.C.
  • Trinity Bellwoods
  • Lucky Lloyds
  • Excessive Heat
  • Snake Pussy
  • Mix Masterbaters
  • The Fascists Team
  • Slapdick
  • Everybody Dies
  • Jasonique
  • Pink wonderland
  • B Team
  • Los Marcos
  • Mos Larcos
  • Polo Polo
  • Early Elimination
  • Ayn Rand’s Condescending Sigh
  • Hoagie Rollers
  • Take It Easy On Us
  • Brendan’s Team
  • Rival Gangs
  • Psycho 78
  • We Are 138
  • Party of Champions
  • Buffalo Kills
  • Team Uh….What
  • Team Pabst
  • Team Schlitz
  • Dirty English
  • The Dorks
  • The Cunning Linguists
  • Banned in DC
  • Minor Threat
  • POD squad
  • Electroshock
  • Ukranian Thundersluts
  • Vaginer
  • Fat Cat
  • Skidbillies
  • Ambassadors
  • Irregulars
  • Bi Polar Disorder
  • Pole + Balls
  • The Desk Jockeys
  • Los I.N.S.
  • Las Cholas
  • Las Corazonas Negras
  • Sons of A Thousand Fathers and all of them are bastards just like you
  • Next in Line for your mother’s Gangbang
  • Team Andy
  • Hostile Makeovers
  • Chicago Dumptrucks
  • Mascara Rattlesnake
  • Killdozer
  • Steeplechase
  • Doug and the Darlrymples
  • Ballz Deep
  • Casual Fridays
  • Natti
  • Killumbus
  • Chinsplitters
  • Vag(j) Attack
  • Freewheels
  • Turtleheads
  • The Kens
  • Brass Ballers
  • The Internationals
  • Fantasy Boyz
  • The Seattle Polyolos
  • King Me
  • East Vanguard
  • Mercenaries
  • Militia
  • Hero Squad 2
  • Suckin dick bought this van
  • Naturals
  • Tag Team
  • Ho chi minh pirates
  • Travis Bickle
  • Team Teddy Bear
  • Shooter’s Passion
  • Shit Scissor
  • Border Patrol
  • Satan Fingering People
  • Super Spackle Monkey
  • Team Jenny
  • Bomb Pop
  • Romantic Overtures
  • 26ers
  • Team Minus (T-)
  • Holy Mountain
  • Here comes a special boy

Moe Syzlak

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“I’m gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!”

“Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I’ll cut your belly open!”

“When I get a hold of you, you’re dead. I swear I’m gonna slice your heart in half!”

“When I get a hold of you, I’m gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!”

“Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I’m gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!”

“…I’m going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!”

“I’m going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!”

“I’m going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!”

And…

“I’m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt… I can’t compete with that stuff.”

“Uh, hey, everybody! I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.”

“Homer, lighten up! You’re making Happy Hour bitterly ironic.”

“Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch ‘em in the face, and for what?”